


ev'ry so often we long to steal to the land of what-might-have-been

by Volleynerds (ButterflyCrossing)



Series: Haikyuu!! Songfics [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Pining, Songfic, except this is from tanaka and ennoshitas points of view, im not really all that sorry, im sorry this didnt end wel, so much unrequited stuff im so sorry, so thats good, the asanoya is requited tho?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 14:01:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6707146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterflyCrossing/pseuds/Volleynerds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not every crush has a happy ending.</p><p>Songfic to I'm Not That Girl from Wicked</p>
            </blockquote>





	ev'ry so often we long to steal to the land of what-might-have-been

**Author's Note:**

> IM SORRY BUT ANGSTY UNREQUITED TANANOYA IS WHAT I LOVE I CANT HELP IT. I DONT EVEN REALLY CARE ABOUT REQUITED TANANOYA BUT UNREQITED IT MAKES MY LIFE. ALSO INCLUDING ANGSTY UNREQUITED ENNOTANA SO BE SAD 
> 
> [I'm Not That Girl- Wicked](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gS9Q_cbr9d8) The song that goes with the fic.

_Hands touch, eyes meet_

_Sudden silence, sudden heat_

_Hearts leap in a giddy whirl_

The very second Nishinoya thought of a new perk, he sent an excited text to his best friend. The loud chime of “you’ve been-- THUNDERSTRUCK” which Tanaka had set as Noya’s text tone pulled Tanaka out of a daze. He hadn’t been doing anything particular, but as soon as he heard the text tone, he jolted up, ready to respond to his best friend. His heartbeat picked up and a delighted smile washed over his face as he opened the text.

_He could be that boy_

_But I'm not that girl_

When he saw the contents of the text, his heart sunk. Noya had been gushing to his best bro about Asahi, their team’s ace and Noya’s crush constantly for a few weeks. Tanaka was happy for Noya, but he couldn’t help the niggling bit in his brain telling him that Noya should be gushing about him. He knew that he never had a chance, but he could always dream. He shot a text back encouraging Noya as his heart clenched.

_Don't dream too far_

_Don't lose sight of who you are_

_Don't remember that rush of joy_

_He could be that boy_

_I'm not that girl_

The next morning at practice, he was back to normal, joking and jesting with Noya, playing up his attraction to Kiyoko to throw everyone off the scent (and he means, honestly who doesn’t have a little bit of a crush on Kiyoko? She’s gorgeous), and generally being the rambunctious teen the team knew him to be.

But as practice wore on, he stole glances at Noya, and watched as Noya stole glances at Asahi. And who could blame him? Asahi was tall, kind, and while timid, was the kind of quiet which was so nice to be in the presence of. Tanaka could never compare, and he knew that, so he didn’t even try anymore. But it was always nice to dream.

_Ev'ry so often we long to steal_

_To the land of what-might-have-been_

_But that doesn't soften the ache we feel_

_When reality sets back in_

As the school day wore on, Tanaka daydreamed about what could have been. Noya could be sitting at lunch with him, instead of blowing him off to go sit with Asahi. At least he had the decency to catch him outside his classroom to let him know right? Tanaka made his way over to where Ennoshita, Narita, and Kinoshita were sitting that day and plunked down beside Ennoshita.

“What’s wrong?” Ennoshita asked as Tanaka slowly chewed on his bento. Tanaka grumbled out a “ilikenoyabuthesinlovewithasahi” around a mouthful of food, and Ennoshita glared at him.

“Tanaka, it’s rude to talk with your mouth full.”

“I said that I like Noya but he’s in love with Asahi okay?” Tanaka said once he swallowed his food.

Ennoshita just looked at him for a long time, before muttering “I know exactly how you feel.”

“What?” Tanaka asked in surprise, as Ennoshita hadn’t told him that he liked anyone.

“Never mind, it doesn’t matter. You just gotta push through I guess. Be happy for him I guess. Maybe one day you’ll get your knight in shining armor. Maybe not.”

“Yeah but I can’t just sit here and watch it anymore it hurts way too much.” Tanaka responded.

“I mean then the only thing you can do is confess and hope it works out.” Ennoshita smiled wistfully, wishing he would take his own advice.

“Yeah! Thanks Ennoshita, I knew you wouldn’t let me down! You’re the best friend a guy could ask for!” Tanaka’s energy renewed, he scarfed down the rest of his food before running off, probably to the gym.

Narita looked over at Ennoshita with pity in his eyes. “You know, you should take your own advice sometime.” 

Ennoshita just sighed. “Yeah, I know. But did you see him? He’s never gonna return my feelings. He needs someone who can match his enthusiasm. Like Noya.” 

“Then the only thing you can do is confess and hope it works out.” Kinoshita quipped, nudging Ennoshita’s shoulder with his own. “It’s better than just sitting on it forever.”

_Blithe smile, lithe limb_

_She who's winsome, she wins him_

When afternoon practice came around, Ennoshita watched Tanaka as he practiced, saw all the hopeful glances he directed at Noya, tried to figure out what Tanaka saw in Noya. And it was obvious. The two were kindred spirits, and Noya’s excitement only served to boost Tanaka’s enthusiasm. Ennoshita had lost to Noya before he had even met either of them. And that was just how it went sometimes.

_Gold hair with a gentle curl_

_That's the girl he chose_

And by afternoon practice, Tanaka had prepared himself. He may have ignored what was going on in his lessons, but at least he was awake during those times, just preparing himself to confess to Noya.

And then practice actually started. And Tanaka watched Noya as he hovered around Asahi. And every once in awhile, Noya would come over to Tanaka and they would rile each other up, but the longer practice went on, the less enthusiastic Tanaka became each time.

He thought he was prepared, but as practice wrapped up, he felt more nervous than he had ever felt before. So he did what he did whenever he felt worried. He went to vent to Ennoshita.

_And Heaven knows_

_I'm not that girl_

Ennoshita listened as Tanaka whispered his nervousness away, and when he puffed up his chest and was about to walk off, he simply told him “Good luck,” and waved him off. He had been seconds away from giving him a good luck kiss before remembering that Tanaka didn’t feel that way, and was seconds away from confessing to Noya, not himself. He just wasn’t who Tanaka wanted.

_Don't wish, don't start_

_Wishing only wounds the heart_

_I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl_

Tanaka walked out of the gym over to the clubroom, where he knew Noya sometimes hung out after practice. Almost as soon as he opened the door, he slammed it shut again. “Fuck.” He whispered, shutting his eyes tight to push back tears. He really didn’t need to see Asahi kissing Noya as soon as he opened the door.

He walked back towards the gym, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Fuck.” He muttered as he ran straight into Ennoshita. “He was kissing Asahi, I was gonna tell ‘im and then I opened the door and. Fuck.” Ennoshita hugged him.

_There's a girl I know_

_He loves her so_

_I'm not that girl..._

“Hey, it’s gonna be alright. You’re gonna be alright.” Ennoshita was trying hard to keep his composure as Tanaka sobbed into his shoulder. He ran his hands over Tanaka’s head, his back, comforting him and trying not to start crying himself.

“Hey, Ennoshita?” Tanaka asked, not sure of himself but knowing that even just Ennoshita’s voice would calm him down. “Do you think your crush will work out?”

Ennoshita smiled sadly to himself, but pulled up the reassuring words so Tanaka wouldn’t feel worse. “It might. I think I’ll give him a while before I confess, but maybe it just might.” And even if Ennoshita had only said it to comfort him, he hoped that his words would ring true.

**Author's Note:**

> I know it might seem weird that Tanaka decided to confess the same day Ennoshita suggested it, but I feel like Tanaka is a do something first, think about it later sort of guy, and would be super excited about it for a while, and psyching himself up. Honestly I think it would be less in character for him to wait a few days or weeks to confess, even if he's nervous. You can see how he is with Kiyoko, so yeah.


End file.
